Plato
Tuesday, 15. August 2006
Demosthenes would vomit up his pebbles

Salagadoola
mechicka boola
bibbidi-bobbidi-boo
Put 'em together and what have you got?

Sounds to me like a desperate cry for assistance from a fairy godmother who is having a major stroke. Be that as it may, what has happened to the English language? Let me throw a few things out there for you.

Ain’t ain’t a word and I ain’t gonna use it. Well, you may not but the hoity toities at the English Oxford Dictionary have no problems muttering it out when ever they can.

“ain't
• contraction informal 1 am not; are not; is not. 2 has not; have not.”

Let’s continue...

“irregardless
• adjective & adverb informal regardless.”

And for the love of fucking god...

“bootylicious
• adjective orig US 1 A term of commendation of rap lyrics. 1992-. 2 Very sexually attractive. 1994-. [Blend of booty buttocks and delicious.]”

Come on, Demosthenes went to the shore to crammed pebbles into his mouth and forced himself to articulate his word over the crashing of the waves. The best we have today is waiting until our PBR laden belches are finished to mumble out “I needs me another can.”

Before my towering ivory pillar starts to look too tarnished I want to state that I know I am no paragon of the English language. I came from a low income family with little to no emphasis on education or formalities but I try to do as best as I can or to catch myself when I falter.

I just want to thank the higher authorities for lowering that bar. Nothing says ‘striving for the betterment’ like pandering to the lowest common denominator.

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