Dear God,

While we are on the subject of public restrooms, please find it in your infinite glory to damn the urinal talkers. I think you know who I am talking about. There is no pure and holy reason why one would feel the need to talk to another body while pissing. Please tell these lost souls that urinating and conversing are not a righteous mixture.

Dear God,

Please bless this world with a working urinal. Preferably within a ten mile radius of me. And while you’re at it, please bless this miraculous flushing urinal with a pleasant odor and porcelain free of mutating social diseases.